I’m not sure how many of you have seen “When Harry Met Sally,” but you should definitely look it up on Netflix. And enjoy it. It’s one of my favorites.
One of the characters, Harry, has this theory that Sally thinks is completely crazy. Be sure to sit down while you read this. It’s life changing. Here it is: MEN AND WOMEN CAN NEVER BE FRIENDS (as the title of this entry implies).
People have tried to argue with me about this, so I can kind of guess what’s going through your head.
1. This girl is crazy! I have so many friends of the opposite sex, it’s ridiculous.
Yes, you do have many “friends” of the opposite sex. But remember that time they touched your hand and you thought you felt something? Or that time you rated them on that 0-10 hotness scale? OR the time you almostmaybethought about kissing them? Sure, you didn’t act on those feelings, but you still thought about it. The thought ran through your head.
2. Neither of us are attracted to each other!
Yeah you are. One of you is.
3. Just because one of us is attracted to the other doesn’t mean that we’re not friends!
Sure, you’re still friends, but it’s different. You’re never going to have that relationship where you can talk about whatever. Or be completely yourself. You’re going to be a self-conscious girl around him. He’s going to make sure he’s wearing cologne around you.
We’re animals, people. We’re attracted to the opposite sex. Let’s be real, you always are thinking about whether you find someone attractive or not. It’s NATURE. If we would just be like hippos and admit to ourselves that we can never actually be friends with people of the opposite sex, life would be so much easier. So many fights would be avoided. Hippos just tell each other how they feel in their hippo way. I’ve never seen a show on Animal Planet about a female hippo and a male hippo being just friends. They’ve got a friends with benefits thing going on. Maybe eventually they’ll make it to couple status. You know, make it facebook official.
(DISCLAIMER: All I’m saying is that you’ll never have the same friendship with someone of the opposite sex as the person of the same sex. Admit it to yourselves. I’m not saying that you should just do whatever with whoever whenever. That, my friends, is not a good idea at all. Feelings will be hurt. Hearts will be broken. Don’t, you know, actually be the hippo. KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE HIPPO. BUT OVERCOME YOUR HIPPO FEELINGS. DO NOT BECOME THE HIPPO. Contradiction, I know.)
Recognizing that you are an animal is all that you need to do. Consider yourself enlightened. You’re welcome.
Here’s Harry explaining the Never Friends Theory better than I did:
AND here he is amending his Never Friends Theory: