Tonight, I was watching “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” and I realized just how many things the Peanuts have taught me. I mean, Charlie Brown has been through everything with me. We’ve been best friends since I was in, like, second grade. So here’s an abbreviated list of all of the things I have learned:
1. Never kick a football. Just give up, Charlie. Lucy is never going to allow you to actually kick the ball. Ever.
2. Speak your mind–thanks, Lucy! She’s taught me so much about honesty. For example: Lucy is honestly one of my role models. I named my dog after her when I was little.
3. Any girl who dresses like this…
…is obviously a lesbian. I even looked it up on wikipedia, and sometimes men do her voice in the movies! Woah. Bet you just learned something new.
4. Dog houses are also airplanes and can sometimes be decorated for special occasions. By your dog.
5. You are never too old for your blanket. Thanks, Linus. You helped me get through middle school.
6. Those who do not regularly bath will have a cloud of dirt around them and no one will really want to be their friend. And their name will eventually become Pig Pen.
7. Get the really small Christmas tree.
8. Be kind. Seriously. Charlie Brown is a nice kid. And so is Linus. And Lucy. I mean, not really, but you gotta love her anyways.
Go watch a “Charlie Brown Christmas.” Your life will change.
Merry (almost) Christmas!